The Cold Hard Truth

Makes me feel interesting.

Ah, this is what I was waiting for. An opportunity to talk to Kate, and some 10 minutes ago I did just that: I gave her the "talk". She listened to what I had to say, albeit my shaking and distorted words. Damn, was I nervous! But I had every right to be; I was asking out one of my best and closest friends. This is what she said:

"I mean, it's been great seeing you again, but I'm just not interested in seeing anyone, right now."

Rejection!

At its finest. Now, I was wondering on my way back home, if by "anyone" she meant "me". That she's "just not interested in seeing [me]". Well, if she meant "me", I'm pretty damn sure she would've said "you", which is referring to me, of course. There really shouldn't be any reason for me to speculate, and I trust her words as she said them. If she was interested in anyone else, say, Xanth* for example, she would've said "I'm sorry Mikey, but I like Xanth and no one else". But she didn't, and I should have no reason to think otherwise.

This also leads to a question: do I really want a relationship in this point in my life? Perhaps not, if I really look at it. Her answer doesn't change my feelings for her. I'm still in love with Kathryn, but I know now to back off at certain points. I should really focus now on bettering myself and improving my body and mind. Maybe they'll be room in the future for the two of us to be together, but it's far too early to tell.

On the upside, Nancy might be getting the ING job after all! Aaryn said that she's in the classes slated for July! This is good news. Nancy deserves this job, and I hope she does well and has nothing but success.

As for me, I'm going to keep on hoping that Kathryn will rethink it through, or perhaps we can be together in the future. But who know for sure?

I'm tired and I have work at 8 in the morning so, a grood night to you.

*Xanth is the only other guy I can see Kate dating. He's a good guy. A relationship between the two wouldn't be too far off. However, Xanth is going to college in Vermont. And Kate has told me that he and her are not dating, despite questionable circumstances. Whatever. I believe her. So yeah. They couldn't be dating because Xanth is going to another state for college and I doubt they'd risk the "long distance" dealy-o.