Inside Your Personal Haven

Where it's warm and safe! (Supposedly).

Any way, got back from MCC today. I'll be taking 9 credits this semester, deeming me a part-time student. Sad to say that I have one class every Saturday morning. Gay. But it fits with my schedule, kinda, and we'll just have to see in due time. I should also note that none of these classes are drawing classes. None, because the ones that I need to take are currently filled. Which is also gay. So, I won't be honing in on my art skills until next semester, which blows balls.

I should really start practicing again.

Not much else is going on. Dad's in Canada and I have no way of reaching him. Nancy's still a douche. Christina and Marissa are coming up from Virginia, so that's cool. I really wanna spend some time with them.

Right now, I'm too busy wallowing in my boredness.

Ultimatum

Peering into the deep.

So, I guess that's it. I'll still see her every week, but that's all. I've partially given up. Desire has changed courses, but I will still carry on with it. It's just that the goal has changed. I still can't help but to hope it may help me in the future, but who knows. The fact that Siggy brought this up startled me and has gotten me thinking. Ultimately, it's I who decides what goes down in the end, but I can't ignore the concern from everyone. That's something I have to take into consideration. Deep down, I still love her, but it's time to move on. Seriously. this shit is gettin' old, more so than how much it hurts. Okay... maybe not that much, but you know.

Christina and Marissa are coming to visit! Yay! Can't wait to see those two sisters of mine.

MCC New Student Seminar appointment this Friday. I wonder what that's gonna be like. I'm also gonna ask why Haley chose hers so freakin' late. C'mon now.

I need to buy some cereal. And some air fresheners. I wonder if they sell them at Target?

Also, Stop And Shop can suck a cock.

Shitstorm

Even if you have an umbrella, you're still gonna get some shit on you.

What a fantastic day at work I had today. I fucking put a tel-zan through the cardboard compactor. A piece of technology that costs around $1500, destroyed, and I only have myself to blame for it. This little mistake might cost me my job, so I better start looking for a new one. And I can't wait to get chewed out for this one. Can't wait!

Kate and Haley have jobs now. Woo! We're employed again, at the same time. However, it might not stay that way if things turn shitty for me. Ugh.

Josh apparently has some words to say to me. I honestly don't want to talk to him about it, but I know he's not gonna leave me alone until we do. I'm tired of trying to explain it to someone. No one else understands. And I mean that. It already hurts enough as it does.

I need to get MCC straightened out. Seriously. I'm in goosebumps.

That's about it. Hopefully once my classes start at MCC, I can start posting some of my comic/ graphic novel ideas in a seperate blog.

The Sinking Feeling in my Chest

I maybe too weak to handle the truth.

Something's going on between them. I just know it. I shouldn't care. I just need to forget about her. The sooner I can do that, the quicker I'll stop hurting on the inside. I need to forget. It's vitally important I forget. Perhaps when he's gone, I can make my move. Perhaps. But for now, I need to forget. It's becoming so unhealthy for me to pursue her, even after she said no. Maybe I should stop talking to her? I don't know. Something needs to be done in order for me to stop the hurting. God, it's hurts so much. I wish could meet some else to get my mind off of her. Jesus, I've never been so upset in my life and so heart broken. I wonder everyday if I'm strong enough to handle it. I told her last month, but I don't think it was enough. However, I also said I would never bring it up again. If only she knew how much she hurts me, if only Kate knew what she does to me, maybe she'd understand.

And that's how I feel. I don't know what I can do to combat these feelings. Perhaps just continue with Desire. That's the only thing I can do at this point.

MCC tomorrow morning, as it looks like. Waking up early so I can get there and get set for the Fall 2009 semester.

I'll Play My Lute Quietly

... in the corner, in hopes to bum some money off the generous strangers.

Any way, let's see. Where do I begin?

Capoiera was exciting. Tucker had me practice the martello and the armada, and other techniques that I can't remember the names of. Practice makes perfect I say, and I'm progressing along smoothly in that area.

Bob's 4th of July party was a win/lose situation. The only things that made it awesome was Brendan Albetski and boobies. That's it. I started to not have fun after Bob and Josh got drunk off their asses, and when they tried to get Whitney to get naked. They're both pathetic in that state. I feel sorry for Whitney, but she should've just stopped drinking. And I should've stayed at Christine's Graduation Party. Alas, my mistake.

Fuck a tally. I don't need that shit.

Deep inside me, I'll be happy when a certain someone is off to college, away from Connecticut. I know that's a bad thing to think and say, but damn, I can't help it. They're starting to piss me off. Either you guys are or you aren't. Make up your mind. I hope everyday that Kate is still "pure". As I witness so many people dirtying themselves with sin, I can only hope at this point. Kate's been a driving inspiration for such a long time, and with her in a different light, it going to feel like I'm lost. I need to find another direction, which is why I am looking forward to MCC this fall.

By the way, speaking of MCC, the signing of classes for the fall semester ends on July 16th. I better get my ass together and get there Tuesday ASAP, with my shot records.

With my Xbox 360 dead and gone, I'm saving up for an Elite. It'll take me a month, but hey, it's for a good cause.

I wonder. I'll find out the truth in the future. Perhaps. If I continue with Desire, i'll be fine. I should focus on that too.