Dusting Off Some Cobwebs

It's so damp and musty in here!

Jeez, it's been a couple of years since my last post.  I just finished skimming through all my old entries, and I gotta say, it was an interesting trip down memory lane.  If I had the chance, I would go back and do so many things differently.  But I can't, and those decisions have made me who I am right now.

Life is about the same.  I still try to make the best of it.  My comic ideas have slowly formed and I'm procrastinating as usual.  Before I know it, I won't have any time left!  I should really start on those.

So much has changed.  I wish I had the patience to sit here and write all down, but my mind wanders, and it's easy for me to lose track of my thoughts.  I think I'll save all that for another time, a time that will be soon-ish.

And now I'm gonna slink back into a little ball of paranoia, and try to get some sleep.  I tell myself things are gonna be okay, to make it easier on my conscious, even though a part of me is not 100% sure on that.  But it will be, just you see.

Set the World Ablaze

Honestly, what the hell have I been doing for three years?

Nothing. Wasting time. Walking down a path that subconsciously I knew would lead me to heartbreak. I didn't listen to myself, evidently. Now, here I am -pathetic as ever- with a growing pain in my chest and it's all my fault. What a loser.

Drowning my sorrows wouldn't be too healthy, but then again the fact of me dwelling on all of this isn't either. It's kind of funny; I dreamed of this moment in what I called nightmares, and now it's actually true. Awesome, my nightmares are coming true. Is there no mercy for me? It will only end when I let it, so moving on is the only choice I have. I sound like a broken record.

I have one dream, one goal I need to realize. My life will be forever now dedicated to making this dream a reality. I mean it. Three years of dickin' around is just sad. This will be what saves me from life's shitty-ness. If I fail, then what the fuck's the point?

Ready. Set. Fire.

At the End of the Tunnel

It's been interesting, these last couple of months.

Slowly letting go, knowing its really the only choice I have. I can only move on from here.

The Bird and the Phantoms (as I am calling it now) is still in its 'conceptional' stage. I've got the characters down to a tee, but the actual plot is still a bit fuzzy, as well as how I plan to piece this puzzle together. Also, I need to do some concept drawing, and work on my environment skills. Finding inspiration is also a hard thing to do.

You know the routine. FAFSA, student aid, and tuition fees. Oh the joy.

I'm not completely faded away. I still have dreams. It's just about all I have left, and only until now I've realized I need to get my shit together.

Aspirations

We all have them, don't we?

Aside from my obvious yearnings for graphic novelizing, I have a musical aspiration that has yet to be touched in the slightest bit. Although other members of my family have found some success in the music field, I have found none. I managed to bullshit my way through my freshman year of high school playing the trombone in my school's marching band. Little was ever accomplished.

So many things ever get done. I'm not sure why. Is it because I'm lazy? Well, yes, that does have a part in it. Actually, it's a major part why I feel my life has not moved forward. I don't like this feeling.

An entire year of bullshitting and I'm done with it. I'm tired. I need some change. And that is exactly what I intend to do.

Up to Snuff

As I gotta be.

Well, seeing as how this is my "personal" blog, I guess it does me little justice in updating it regularly since so few that I know read it, but whateves. It's more like a diary than anything, as dumb as that may sound.

So yeah. 2010 has rolled around and I just made a New Year's resolution. I promised myself that I would complete a good portion of The Bird and the Hounds, since its almost been a year since I first conceived the idea and the project itself, and I have yet to do anything with it. A shame really. As little effort as I have put into this project, I see its completion as a milestone. Perhaps the reason I haven't touched it yet is because I expect so much from it; it's going to be my magnum opus, what The Lord of the Rings and The Chronicles of Narnia were to Tolkien and C.S. Lewis. I'm talking 'bout some surious shit right hurr. But I know I am no where as good as I want myself to be, as I need myself to be to complete the masterpiece I have envisioned! With school out, and me possibly taking this semester off, it gives me ample time to work on what I need to do. 2010 is a time for getting things done. 2009 was a failure; I wasted so much time doing nothing, therefore nothing was accomplished.

But The Bird and the Hounds isn't my only graphic novel I plan on working on, oh no sir. There's Harper's Room, a dark themed "risque" Sci-Fi that follows a man named Harper Cromley as he revisits his family's old mansion to rediscover his father's Robot Labratory. It's really supposed to be fucked up, so I won't give away too much. Basically, Harper goes back to his family's old mansion after he receives urgent letters from the Robo-Genetic Engineering Company his father used to work for, demanding that Harper reveal the location of his father's secret Robot Labratory which still holds valuable research data and equipment still legally owned by the company. So, Harper is accompanied by a representative of the company, her name being Siobhan Channing, and the two venture off to the once Cromley Mansion.

There's also an untitled animal comic I plan on doing, I haven't put much development into it.

2010 will mark the rebirth of Deuce and Bon-Bon!

Well, that's all I have.

Brainstorm

A whole lot of thinking and not enough doing.

To be honest, I know I am going to change "Birds of Bright" to something else. Choosing a title has always been so damn difficult and I don't know why. I feel like I have to decide on a name before I can move on, or else it just wouldn't feel right. So over the course of this very long brainstorming period, I've gone through titles such as "Birdsong", "The Bird and the Hounds", and now "Birds of Bright". The word "bird" is present in the title because of the main character's surname, "Birdsong". I'm probably just gonna change that too. Ugh!

Hmm.

Any way, Target is awesome. I like working there.

I'm gonna download a copy of Photoshop, heh heh. Hopefully then, I'll be able to flesh out these characters and the world of Allea.

Marvelous Mayhem

It has only begun.

Classes are fun, but I'm worried that I'm too lazy to get any homework done. Meh, I might start out shaky, but I have every confidence that I'll ultimately succeed.

Any way, I'm leaving S & S. Good bye! Found a better job elsewhere with hours that don't interfere with school and it pays better too! I have no idea if it's gonna be a shitty one, but so far I have high hopes.

Meh. I really want to start working on "Birds of Bright", but I haven't found the time to do so, between work, school, and martial art sessions. But when I do, I'll be sure to post pictures!

So far, nothing new; just waiting for my orientation at Target to begin and hopefully start living better.