Waiting

That's really all I can do right now. Ha ha! His arm fell off! ^

It sucks how life comes back and bites me in the ass, especially when I proclaim something and firmly believe in it, only realize it was not how I felt. I constantly lied to myself, thinking that it would one day become true, and I wouldn't hurt so much. That was pretty stupid of me. Trying to forget made it hurt even more.

I don't need to name who she is. It's not like I'm ashamed or afraid, it's that anyone who knows me knows how it is. I know I tend to blog about her from time to time, not mentioning her name, as if I'm trying to be secretive or something. Am I trying to be secretive? Perhaps so. Why? For no reason at all. Are you sure? Positive. Regardless, I'm the only person I know to blog so damn much about everything.

Ironic how unrequited this feels. What a bastard, that irony is.

Nevermind What I Said

Yeah.

Well, I did happen to straighten out everything between Leake and I, so that's cool. I was really worried about the situation, and now it looks as though it was for nothing! Ah well, it's good.

Also, I turned eveything that I owe back to NJROTC. Shit, was that an awkward moment! I truly think Captain has some animosity towards me, because he really acted detatched when I spoke with him. I think he had hopes for me when I was in the program 2 years ago, and was planning on making me a credible officer. I had no choice to quit; I had to make room for my art classes. Any way, at least Master Chief was as cheery as she always was. It's just a relief now.

Guess what I got in the mail today? Bam! My official DL, lamenated and everything! Hurray!

I'm in a dire situation still, despite my recent reliefs. I'll see what happens.

Forward, March!

I'm starting to feel that the way I did before. I don't like feeling that way, but it's hard not to. It's none of my business; it shouldn't be anything for me to get upset about. It shouldn't... but it is. Why is this? It's because some feelings still linger, and I can't shake them off a second time around.

Any way, I'm eager for what's next, and I'm also afraid. But it's my future; everything I've wished for in the past. I can't back out now.

So much to do... so much to hope for. It all seems useless. Despite this, I'll keep trying. It's the best, and possibly, the only thing for me to do. The Rose contest is due tomorrow. I haven't done a thing.

Sadly, I may not have pinched myself enough in Leake's class. That stuff is due today. I wonder how I'm going to pull it off?

2 weeks left. I'm happy, but like I said before, I'm also scared. Gotta suck it up though; I need to show them I'm my own man.

Whatever.

The Gambling Master, I am Not

Turns out I'm not as lucky, nor as good at gambling as I previously thought I was. Curse thee Buddha! I shall have my winnings soon enough!

Also, it would appear I owe an apology to LP, who in fact corrected me about my grade. Still, I have no clue what I need to do for her. Is my grade really that low? If I can't crunch in time, Mercer will drop my diploma type to a standard. Then, my dying image as a "smart guy" will truly be dead; that I cannot have! This isn't about the grade anymore- it's about pride.

Friday, I am contemplating skipping, seeing as how it is, unofficially, Senior Skip Day, and that I will be at the movies instead at school. Oh, I'm such the truant, aren't I?

Nancy and Bob got the apartment in Enfield. That's good news. I still owe them an ass load of money. So let that be as it may.

I can feel it coming; my 3 year hiatus from CT will come to an end. I'll start anew; sailing from one ocean to another.

Blue

That's it. I have decided that I will keep sending the guidance office urgent messages until they schedule me to meet with Mercer. If not, I will ransack the place so that they'd have to let me see her! Ha ha. They'll probably suspend me, if anything. What tools.

Sorry, I've been severely pissed, mostly at the the school officials.

Grilled Cheese will be submitted to the Fine Arts Festival on the 17th! It's such a humorous art piece! Keith Haring really was a inspiration, R.I.P. So was Escher, by the way. Hopefully my silly doodles will make it in and not become a bummer like Hermiatge was. I can still feel the wounds! How painful.

LP has seriously misled me. And I thought I was doing good in her class. What more do I have to do? I have to figure it out soon.

Loneliness is such an awful feeling. I advise you avoid it any way you can. Unfortunately, I cannot. Which sucks, of course. I may have my remedy in June. It's naive to think like that, but a guy can hope, right?

What day is Toilet Paper Awareness Day? It's either in June or July. Make sure you have toilet paper in your bathroom this summer! Don't want to be on the can without it, that's for sure.

An Eventful Evening

Today was surely so. I drove all the way to Hermitage with Christina, and after the ceremony and witnessing the awesomeness that was the student art, we headed down to Game Stop at Janaf. I sold five games, earning me $40. Not bad, seeing as how I was robbed today at school. I how much did I lose? Take a guess. Cough, forty dollars, cough! Coincidence? I think not! Wait, it probably was one. Hot damn!

Fuck those kids in the locker room.

Any way, I have my plans set out. Tomorrow, I need to address this, because I've procrastinated for the last time. If have any time left, that is.

I feel so tired.

Rejected!

I've got some saddening news. The Hermitage Museum rejected my artwork! Oh, 'tis a woeful day. It sucks, I'll admit, but I am glad that other students from my high school were able to get in; this'll be a chance for BTW to finally show up those artsy-fartsy kids from the rival schools. That'll show 'em. And I'm still going to the ceremony. I can't pass up the opportunity of scoping out the competition. However, my absence from the contest is still a bummer. At least I can say I was in it last year.

On a slightly happier note, I got my DL today. Well, my temporary DL, but it's still valid. Awesomeness.

I hate my school's guidance secretary. Why must she always have a squirrel carcass shoved high up in her ass? All I needed to do was to drop something off to Mercer, but I couldn't do that one simple thing with out her throwing me a barrage of questions from her interrogation scheme. Let me do what I need to do, damnit!

All in all, things have been looking good. There's just one more thing I need to do. I should definitely get that done tonight or tomorrow night.

Good tidings were brought after all!