Marvelous Mayhem

It has only begun.

Classes are fun, but I'm worried that I'm too lazy to get any homework done. Meh, I might start out shaky, but I have every confidence that I'll ultimately succeed.

Any way, I'm leaving S & S. Good bye! Found a better job elsewhere with hours that don't interfere with school and it pays better too! I have no idea if it's gonna be a shitty one, but so far I have high hopes.

Meh. I really want to start working on "Birds of Bright", but I haven't found the time to do so, between work, school, and martial art sessions. But when I do, I'll be sure to post pictures!

So far, nothing new; just waiting for my orientation at Target to begin and hopefully start living better.

Dandy Lyon

Exactly.

Well, September is here. The air is noticeably cooler and the blistering heat has seemed to stop already. Everyone went to college, including myself, except I stayed. X went to Vermont, and I have to say I miss the guy. Everything just seems dull without his joyous presence, and I really mean that too.

So classes are a bitch, but hey, whatever. I gotta do them, right? I mean, I payed for them so...

I'm really tight on money this month. I feel so poor. I'm as broke as I ever been. Despite my financial problems, I guess I'm okay. Shit could be a lot worse. I still need to change the fuel filter in my car. Hopefully that's the one thing that's causing all my motor vehicle problems.

Any way, I'm sure Ill have a fun filled monologue next entry. Right now, I'm tired, hungry and gonna watch Conan O'Brien do his whacky shit to make me happy. Yay!

Steak House Rock

Mmm... steak.

Any way, Christina and Marissa are here. Fun times will ensue.

I don't feel like going to open gym today; long ass day at work, but I'll probably end up going. Also, class tomorrow night. Should be fun.

Nancy bought a Wii recently. It'll have to satisfy my gamer craves for now, until I eventually buy my own 360 Elite. Whenever that'll be...

Still chalking up ideas for "Birds of Bright". I need to start illustrating.

Party on Saturday at Anna's house, hopefully.

And that's a wrap!

Inside Your Personal Haven

Where it's warm and safe! (Supposedly).

Any way, got back from MCC today. I'll be taking 9 credits this semester, deeming me a part-time student. Sad to say that I have one class every Saturday morning. Gay. But it fits with my schedule, kinda, and we'll just have to see in due time. I should also note that none of these classes are drawing classes. None, because the ones that I need to take are currently filled. Which is also gay. So, I won't be honing in on my art skills until next semester, which blows balls.

I should really start practicing again.

Not much else is going on. Dad's in Canada and I have no way of reaching him. Nancy's still a douche. Christina and Marissa are coming up from Virginia, so that's cool. I really wanna spend some time with them.

Right now, I'm too busy wallowing in my boredness.

Ultimatum

Peering into the deep.

So, I guess that's it. I'll still see her every week, but that's all. I've partially given up. Desire has changed courses, but I will still carry on with it. It's just that the goal has changed. I still can't help but to hope it may help me in the future, but who knows. The fact that Siggy brought this up startled me and has gotten me thinking. Ultimately, it's I who decides what goes down in the end, but I can't ignore the concern from everyone. That's something I have to take into consideration. Deep down, I still love her, but it's time to move on. Seriously. this shit is gettin' old, more so than how much it hurts. Okay... maybe not that much, but you know.

Christina and Marissa are coming to visit! Yay! Can't wait to see those two sisters of mine.

MCC New Student Seminar appointment this Friday. I wonder what that's gonna be like. I'm also gonna ask why Haley chose hers so freakin' late. C'mon now.

I need to buy some cereal. And some air fresheners. I wonder if they sell them at Target?

Also, Stop And Shop can suck a cock.

Shitstorm

Even if you have an umbrella, you're still gonna get some shit on you.

What a fantastic day at work I had today. I fucking put a tel-zan through the cardboard compactor. A piece of technology that costs around $1500, destroyed, and I only have myself to blame for it. This little mistake might cost me my job, so I better start looking for a new one. And I can't wait to get chewed out for this one. Can't wait!

Kate and Haley have jobs now. Woo! We're employed again, at the same time. However, it might not stay that way if things turn shitty for me. Ugh.

Josh apparently has some words to say to me. I honestly don't want to talk to him about it, but I know he's not gonna leave me alone until we do. I'm tired of trying to explain it to someone. No one else understands. And I mean that. It already hurts enough as it does.

I need to get MCC straightened out. Seriously. I'm in goosebumps.

That's about it. Hopefully once my classes start at MCC, I can start posting some of my comic/ graphic novel ideas in a seperate blog.

The Sinking Feeling in my Chest

I maybe too weak to handle the truth.

Something's going on between them. I just know it. I shouldn't care. I just need to forget about her. The sooner I can do that, the quicker I'll stop hurting on the inside. I need to forget. It's vitally important I forget. Perhaps when he's gone, I can make my move. Perhaps. But for now, I need to forget. It's becoming so unhealthy for me to pursue her, even after she said no. Maybe I should stop talking to her? I don't know. Something needs to be done in order for me to stop the hurting. God, it's hurts so much. I wish could meet some else to get my mind off of her. Jesus, I've never been so upset in my life and so heart broken. I wonder everyday if I'm strong enough to handle it. I told her last month, but I don't think it was enough. However, I also said I would never bring it up again. If only she knew how much she hurts me, if only Kate knew what she does to me, maybe she'd understand.

And that's how I feel. I don't know what I can do to combat these feelings. Perhaps just continue with Desire. That's the only thing I can do at this point.

MCC tomorrow morning, as it looks like. Waking up early so I can get there and get set for the Fall 2009 semester.